It Was Fate Maybe?

 I don't know if I believe in fate, but I do question it a lot.

I tried dating after I left my ex-husband, and it went terribly wrong.  There was this guy from another town 2 hours away.  We just happened to like the same hobby and had some mutual friends.  That was short lived due to his psychotic obsession with control, and he was a narcissist.  It was so bad he was telling me what I'm allowed to wear, who I can talk to, demanding screen shots of my text messages, and invading my Facebook messages. The morning, he dumped me it was like this:

Me: 'Good morning! Have a great day!'
Him: 'I can't do this anymore (followed by excuses placing blame on me.)
Me: 'Okay.'

If you break up with me, I just leave. I won't call, text, beg, chase, anything of the short.

It so happened I dated another guy 2 months later with some of the same hobbies, and he lived 45 minutes away.  We'd been Facebook mutuals for about 2 years on Facebook.

4 stressful months dealing with his drinking and driving, his alcoholism, and keeping his ex in his life.  Come to find out, the dude was shacking up with her almost on every other day basis while he and I were 'together.' In the end, he told me he was going back to her. Before this happened, he told me 'I'll never go back to my ex. That's like eating re-heated French fries.'

A couple days after we parted, my best friend and I had something lined up for our hobby.  When I say hobby, I don't mean knitting or wine tasting (even though I love wine tasting.) This is a fast-paced dangerous hobby, and we had reservations for that weekend.  So, I loaded up in my truck and drove an hour to her older brother's house, who allowed us to stay the night.  This was due to him living close to our reservation area.  'Great!'

My mind set wasn't the best this day, so I stopped by the last gas station near his house, and pulled a desperate Wal-Mart mom move.  I grabbed two small wine-in-a-box, popped the top and I arrived at his house 7 minutes later.

I didn't know what to expect, simply because I'd never met this man let alone, I never knew my best friend of 4 years at the time had that brother.  I jumped out of my truck, and walked up feeling super confident, but not really.  He was really handsome this man.  I don't use the term 'handsome' on any man either.  He was tall, short beard, and very confident himself.  His home was absolutely the most beautiful place I'd ever seen especially surrounded by so much green land.  The area was quiet.

We all ended up going out for dinner, enjoying each other company and came back to his house.  We drank a bit too much and played board games.  That in itself showed me what kind of person he was, because I hadn't played board games in years, especially with a man.  He was kind, funny and respectful with a bit of banter between us. 

Apparently, his air mattress had a hole in it, so he suggested I can sleep in his bed next to him.  It went something like this:

He showed me his bathroom and closed the doors so I could shower.  When I say I showered faster than I ever had, I am not exaggerating.  I didn't know who this guy was, much less if he was one of those dudes that would walk in when I was naked.  Either way, after I got myself cleaned up I walked into his bedroom where he showed me the bed.  

Him: 'So, here's a blanket, that one you can use, and I'll be on the other side in a different blanket.'

Okay, this guy has morals and respect.  Not only that, he had Advil and a bottle of water on the nightstand for me to!  I crawled into bed while he showered, and of course I tried faking falling asleep, because again I didn't know how this was going to go. Then, I was out like a light.

The next morning, I vaguely remember rolling over and draping my arm over him.  He did the same and my body went into the 'wake-up-shock.'  Like, you're asleep but realize what's going on, wake up and freeze.  Yeah, that was me. He didn't panic or freak out, but he did snuggle me.  That's it.  I got up, changed and we were off to our 'hobby.'

He treated me so kind, flirted and took us to lunch before I had to head back home.  What got me was the kiss.  I knew it was coming, and it felt like I was back in High School waiting for that first kiss. It was simple, adorable, and it said 'I like you.'

About a month later, I received a text from the most recent ex before 'R'.

Him: 'I'm eating re-heated French fries.'
Me: 'I'm having prime rib. Enjoy.'
[BLOCKED]

I don't chase and I don't play games.  

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3 years later, we are living together and thriving.  The house I first walked into was beautifully decorated for a house.  That house has changed into a warm home, full of laughter and love.  We have family night dinners, the kids have their own space, we adopted 2 cats and so much more.  Every morning, I sit in the living room with my coffee and watch the deer come to the feeder in the back yard, after the kids get on the bus.  

This is why I question if fate is real because it sure feels like it now.