Mom, meet R

I remember mentioning R to my parents.  My dad is the laid back, go with the flow kind of guy, my mother on the other hand.  She was very persistent on not meeting him.  She saw my history with guys and told me I needed to focus on myself and my kids.  She wasn't wrong.

I was working full time, and taking care of the kids while finding time to spend with R.  The weekends their father had them, I'd drive 70 miles to his house and when it was time to go, it was 70 miles back.  I was never late picking them up, I was always on time dropping them off, they had lunches packed for school, you get it right?  I was doing my best to make sure my kids were happy, healthy and taken care of while trying to be in a relationship.

It took 4 months till I was comfortable enough for the kids to meet R.  He actually drove that 70-mile route and took me around town because I was having truck issues.  He didn't formally meet the kids, but it was like 'who's that guy out there with mom,' while they were playing outside.  R drove up in his beautiful car and my son instantly flocked to it.  My daughter on the other hand was excited but weary which I adore. She's my red flag detector.  

A week later, R invited us to a small place in downtown which is fun for kids, adults and social media influencers.  It's more like a Syfy tech art museum all rolled into one.  We'd never been, and it was more of a way for us to hang out.  The kids absolutely loved it and wouldn't stop talking about him after we left and even asked when we'd see him next.  After that, the kids would come with me on my weekends to R's house.  

6 months into our relationship, R asked us to move in with him.  We were visiting with his family, also known as our Village, and he said, 'you're here so much why don't y'all move in.' 10 minutes later he asked, 'did you get the kids out of school yet?'  I was extremely hesitant because I wanted to make sure this was the right choice for us.  January 2023, we made the move.

I didn't tell my family right away.  Instead, I started to take a large selection of my clothes and personal items with me when I'd visit him.  My mother saw me on the RING camera and the questions began.

I understood why she was asking, but she was more worried about the kids.  She questioned if this was the right choice due to my many previous before R.  I told her she needs to meet him to figure that out.  I couldn't praise this man enough, mostly how he was with the kids.  His interactions were not short lived and temporary.  Even my younger brother got in on this action, trying to persuade me not to move out.  2 school paperwork transfers, pediatrician updates, 70 miles and 2 days later, we were fully moved in with R.  The kids were completely registered for the new school and bus pick up as well.  

The transition couldn't have been more perfect, because that's what it was.  Perfect.  The kids settled into school, and it showed with their grades.

In May of 2023, my mother called me asking what our address was because guess what? She decided to surprise us and drop in.  We rushed to straighten up the house and welcome her in.

I think both of my parents were more than surprised.  Our yard was groomed, the house was clean and more than anything we were very excited for my parents visit.  The kids gave them full tours of their new rooms, and we gave ours of the house.  R didn't hold back on who he was, and I really loved that.  It was different for me, simply because I've never felt more comfortable and at ease with my parents meeting my spouse.  There was a lot of banter, laughter and fun that day which filled more of my memory warehouse.  

It was then my mother gave her own form of an apology and praised R to me.  He's a good man, a great man actually who's great with the kids and treats us all like we mean something to him.  Don't get me wrong, but I did throw in an 'I told you so.'

Since then, it's still been great.  I've been with R almost 3 years and I think my mother adores him more than she does me as her own daughter.  They consider each other in-laws and for me that's a win in my book.  The visits are never dull, and since then we've had them here many times, and twice so far when we've had events that the kids couldn't attend.

I'll always be thankful for my parents, but R and I will always have something fun to throw at her when she's got something positive to say about our relationship.  'You know, if you'd have met him sooner..,'