Family Photos

I was cleaning the house the other day, and while dusting photos on the walls, I thought back to my first, last and only photography session.

It was also the start to what I should have seen as a BRIGHT. RED.  FLAG.

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March of 2008, and I was engaged to J, who was newly involved with a MC.  Man, I despised this group of guys.  Their motto was, 'work, MC club and family.  It was more of an obsession rather than addiction for him, and he'd always tell people 'I wish it was club, club, club.'  Made me sick honestly because I was nothing but his property in their eyes.

Anyway, because we were engaged, I had brought up wanting to do 'engagement photos.'  So, I found a photographer on Craigslist and scheduled a session with her at a nearby park.  I'd never done a photo 'thing,' like this and thought would be a great first.  Pinterest wasn't available then, so I went with the cringy matching white polo theme.  

The day of, we'd happened to see his MC 'buddies' at the park an hour prior to our appointment.  'Joy.'

The first thing they did was give him shit for the shirt.  I personally thought he looked clean cut compared to the cut off sleeveless shirts he'd wear on the daily.  He on the other hand, quickly took off the shirt, threw it in the truck and agreed how it looked 'gay.'  It felt someone just punched me in the gut and ripped out my heart.  I should have seen the red flag with how quick he was to please these guys, and how much he complained to me about the 'look.'

Did we still get the photos taken? Yes.  

Did he complain the entire time? Of course he did.  

The photos actually came out nice, but looking back on the memory it was him literally forcing a half ass smile.  Throughout our marriage, when the conversation of pictures came up, he would tell people how much he hated getting those and I think that's what kept me from asking for future events.  Every time I would bring up family photos, he'd grunt or make negative comments.

When the kids were born, I took their photos in my home and just wouldn't tell him till after they were ordered.  He did work with me on little J's, but I think it was more of a 'let's get this over with, so she'll leave me alone,' feel.  Yes, I took photos of him and the baby, but he wasn't willing to take mine with little J.  

Something funny, yet sad is we never and I mean never had a single-family photo after E was born.  Selfies in my opinion are one thing, but nothing professional since the engagement photos.  Even my mother suggested she'd take them, and he still declined.

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2023, our village was talking about professional family portraits and it came back to me.  The fear.  I spoke to R about it, and he told me, 'Baby, we will do whatever you want to do.' Come to find out, he never did anything like this before.  Not even when he was previously engaged, nothing.  So, I used this as a go-with-the-flow situation.

Our village families picked maroon, and green so I went with blue.

When the day came it was cold, but we worked through.  My anxiety peaked because sessions in my opinion are so unnatural with the laughing and walking.  Three back-to-back families between the group of us and it couldn't have been more fun.  I mean that. It was fun! The only complaint was how cold it was, but we were all laughing about it.

Three days before Christmas we received our photos, and they were beautiful!

I was overcome with emotions when I saw them, because they were so full of love.  Literally, they were warm, loving, and happy.  There were no fake emotions in any of the photos, and the colors worked so well.  When I showed them to R, he was very happy how they turned out and asked me which ones I was going to put up in the house. 

It didn't take me long to choose and order them on canvas.  Just saying, www.Smallwoods.com is the way to go.  He was willing to move wall arrangements around in the house and got out the leveling laser when it came time to mount them.  Our most intimate one is hung in our bedroom, on my side of the bed.  He has never complained about them; in fact he talks about and points them out when we have visitors.

2 years and I think it's time for another round.