Communication is key

 A couple of weeks ago R was driving home from another out-of-town work thing.  Typically, he just surprises us but with the stress of the bad weather we've had, it was best he tells me.

The kids and I finished dinner and were sitting down for a movie when he called.

Him: 'I need you to do me a favor, not freak out or get upset when I tell you something that just happened.'

When I tell you horrible thoughts of a wreck started to flood my mind, I thought my heart was going to burst.  I immediately opened the app to find his location, until what he said next had me frozen like a statue.

He told me his ex, the one who harassed me for more than a year of our relationship, was trying to sell an item that was legally in his name.  A company called him with the information, and he told them to put everything on hold, and he'd take care of it.  He also informed me, that he did call her in regard to the situation.  Long story short, he told her to take the item back to her house and he'd investigate things on his end when he came home.  

My heart was racing. I felt control take over me and I told him what was going to happen.  He immediately shut me down and said, 'I will handle this MY way.  I don't do drop offs with your ex, and you are not going to do this, or go near my ex.' I felt a rush of anger because this woman has been in and out of my life for the past 3 years.  I am exhausted.  Instead, I said, 'okay.' '

It was a short conversation, and within seconds of hanging up he called right back to tell me he called her from his work number because she thinks we changed both numbers since our last contact in November.

It was a relief knowing he wasn't hurt, and that he contacted me immediately after dealing with her.  I did ask, 'was she at least being nice to you?' He said she was respectful, so I guess there is some positive in the chaos.  

Within minutes of him walking through the door, he went to check his collection to verify if what she had was hers or his.  It was hers, but still in his name.  This was good news for us.  This means no more interaction except that he will be sending her a bill of sale so it can be finalized.  

For me, sitting on the outside looking in there is another pattern.  I knew it would be another 6 or 7 months till she popped up again in some way for or fashion.  Now, the biggest question I'm sure some would have for me is, 'how much longer will you put up with this?'

That's simple.  I've actually thought of this for a few months actually. 

I will continue to 'put up with this,' because she isn't a threat to me.  Annoying, yes.  Threat? No.  I can't say this last interaction was purposely done on her end, but I'm sure she's getting some thrill of it.  I don't know, I don't know what's inside of her head.  

Regardless, I am grateful R was open with communicating with me as he was.  I think the way he opened with the situation could have been executed better.  I'd have preferred, 'I'm not hurt, there's no accident however...'  He did apologize for coming across as rude, and we agreed slightly over reacted.

Now, we reset the clock again till the next time she pops up.