Sold

 In the past month, we've sold 2 vehicles that we loved dearly in this home.

The first one sold, was just an impulse buy for R.  By impulse, I mean more than $15,000 ridiculous dollars that he shouldn't have spent.  

I want to clarify, I do not, nor will I ever tell R what he can or cannot buy simply because he's the breadwinner in our home.  I learned very quickly in our relationship if he wants something, he will get it.  He works hard with the ability to buy whatever he wants.  Now, if it were a situation where I knew we couldn't afford it, yes, I would definitely give my opinion.  

Now, he has come to be regarding my opinion when he has decided to have a life change when it came down to jobs.  The first time, it caught me off guard as we were not even living together yet.  I was 100% supportive, but I made sure he knew my view on my not wanting to give a bad opinion.  In other words, I didn't want him to take my opinion and just go with it.  Instead, we weighed out the options together.  It worked out really well actually.

That sale didn't hit us as hard, emotionally as the one that followed a week later.

He'd had this machine for 5 years and it was everything he wanted in it.  Color, size, power, sound, and fun accessories.  I have a machine in the same category, but different build.  The few times we were able to use these machines together it was so much fun.  Don't get me wrong, but I felt like I was showing him off when he was next to me.  

When R listed it, I asked him at least 3 times, 'are you sure you want to do this?' He explained it was time, and the fact he hadn't touched it in 9 months said the same.  Unfortunately, I agreed.

We listed it 2 weeks ago, and not a single hit except for my buddy of 15 years. Of course I gave him my personal sales pitch, and he went with it.  He said he'd speak to his wife, and that was that.  A week later he chimes in on my Facebook asking if we were home.  

3 hours later, we greeted them, and one hour after that we were saying our goodbyes while watching that beautiful machine leave our property in someone else's name.  R took it harder than I expected, and no he didn't cry.  However, his mood changed for a few hours.  By the end of the night, he was regretting the choice, but I had to bring up why he chose to make the sale.  As much as he agreed, he was rightfully in his feels.

Unfortunately, we have agreed on the circumstances of my own machine and that will be the next to be sold.  This year.  I have been gaslighting him when it comes down to that sale, because I've told him that's the only thing I rightfully own.  I was emotional, and I'm beyond emotionally attached to it. (That's for another entry).  He does get it, to a point but he was the one to snap me back into his reality.

Me: 'Baby, that's the only thing I own.  I own that machine, and my clothes. That's it. Nothing else.

Him: 'Your name might not be on this house, but it's yours.  Your name isn't on that truck out there, but you make the payments.  It's yours. This is our home, our vehicles, our family.  You own, what I own. Okay?'

Okay.