Conversations

I wish I'd have listened to my lawyer and learned from my past interactions with my ex-husband when it comes to communication.  

He texts me a couple weeks ago regarding when he would be able to see the kids for the month of July.  I thought because there is so much going on it would be easier via a verbal conversation.  I wasn't wrong but I should have known better.

It started off as well as it could with, 'My boss change the schedule knowing I have the kids this weekend, but I have to work.'  This was for the 4th of July weekend.  Honestly, I didn't see this coming, but I'm always surprised with this man.  Apparently, he did talk to his boss, but nothing was going to change so I accepted it, and he said he'd talk to the kids.

The second was him asking to have the kids for a weekend so he could take them to visit his parents a few states away.  Let's break this down.

He was asking for a weekend, he is already supposed to have, while he was viewing his calendar.  As much as I hate to complain about him, if he's looking at the calendar shouldn't he know which weekends he gets with them?  Regardless, it coincided with the week R and I take our vacation, and the kids will be at my mothers.  I told him of the dates and informed him that traveling with the kids would be perfectly fine, but he'd have to pick them up from my mom.  So far so good, and we are agreeing on everything. 

I also informed him, even when I didn't have to, the kids would be going out of town with my parents to see my aunt and uncle.  Why didn't I need to tell him this?  Because it's not his weekend, but he has this thing asking to swap weekends when he misses his, due to his schedule.  Not mine.   

With all of this said, I told him I'd text all the information regarding contact with my mother, her address, everything a parent needs to know for the whereabouts of their kids.  I followed up minutes after our phone conversation, because I wanted to make sure he got it quickly, so he'd be able to update his calendar. 

The Monday after the 4th, he texts 'do I get the kids this weekend?'  I received this while ears deep in-house chores, and errands so it took me by surprise considering the conversation we had not a week ago. I actually had to re-read the message 3 times and ask myself, 'didn't we discuss this?'  

Me: 'No, they leave town this week and it's my weekend. We discussed this. I have to ask, do you not remember the conversation?
Him: 'I remember the entire conversation. I was just asking if I get the kids this weekend.  You turned it into something else.  Same old (my name).'

How is it, that a man of his age and a calendar can claim he remembers and knows this information, but has to ask me?  I just, I can't.  I don't get it! I shouldn't have to remind him, and he shouldn't have to ask me about the schedule when it's been the same.  I tell myself I'm overreacting, but what I want to tell him is he is old enough he should know this by now.  I have 3 calendars in my home that all have updated information.  There is the family calendar on the fridge, I have my phone and my laptop.  I keep them updated at all times, but he can't.  I'm not saying he should do what I do, but he's so on top of his work schedule, how hard is it to enter information about the kids into his?

I spent years dealing with this after the kids were born, and I should know he isn't going to change now.  It's sad that it shows he can't remember that he has the 1st and 3rd Friday and Saturday of every month with them.  I'm sure some might say, 'He supposed to get them 1st, 3rd and last weekend of the month.'  He is, yes, but he has always worked the last weekend of every month for the past 7 years.  Even knowing his schedule, I will make sure the kids are prepared to go should he have an open last weekend.  I do my part, but he can't remember 2 days out of the month.  

I'm rolling my eyes, but at myself because I let this get to me.  I need to just accept he is who he is and that'll never change.  As for the text, I couldn't let it go and since he likes to be petty, I can throw some shade back into his direction.

Me: 'If you remember you don't need to ask.  You know the old me, not the new me. Your weekend is NEXT Friday.'