Birth Control

It was the craziest question, and extremely random.  While R was out of town the other week he called me.  Our conversation was as always squirrely, and I'd mentioned how I feel like I'm about to get my period probably sooner than I think.  He came out with, 'are you taking your birth control?' I was a little taken back by the question, but the short answer is yes.

He asked when I take it, because he never sees it.   Basically, I had to tell him after he brushes his teeth and gets into bed, it's usually between my skin care and drying my hair when I'm rummaging through my drawers.  I'm a multitasker so it's literally, hair drying, skin routine, waiting for one layer to dry, teeth, pills, another layer of skin care, anti-frizz, mouthwash, etc.  Not in that particular order, but I have my 'routine,' after a shower.  

Regardless, I thought it was odd for him to ask considering I get my period on time every month.  I'm starting to wonder if he's writing this down or something.  If he is, that's weird because we both agreed I'd be on birth control after our losses and not even attempt to try again.  Then again, I have warned him I have gotten pregnant on birth control a few times.  He of all people should know this, because it happened to us in 2023, after I moved in.  I learned since then and after talking to my doctor it's best to take it at the same time every day.  Don't get me wrong, I thought taking it just every day was doing the job.  

I was also informed the reason to take my specific birth control at the same time daily, is because of how my body is.  Every woman's cycle is different, and mine is definitely the definition of 'not normal.'  

Now, the question of the morning is, 'Do I still want more children?' The answer will always be YES.  Not just to have more children, but because I would love to have one with Rick.  He admitted to me he's always wanted a child and as much as he's happy with little J and E, he would love his own biological child.  I respect that; however, I don't know if it'll ever happen with me. 

The thought has crossed my mind about IVF, and it's still in the air.  I do wonder about the quality of my eggs though considering our 4 losses.  The reason behind those is due to bad quality.  I can get pregnant, but I can't stay pregnant.  Then again, he could have issues that we don't know about either.  I'm hoping by the end of November we will be able to weigh our options on a few things regarding having kids or I don't know maybe solidifying our relationship. 

I've never had a man ask me if I'm taking my birth control though.  I'm going to over think this for a while, but I'll continue to do what I've been doing since our recent loss in March.  Keep taking it, because for me personally, I want a regular schedule where I can check my calendar and say, 'well shit, I'll be on my period then.'